Community Awareness

February 11, 2020


February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.  We at SAFE-NOW want you to know that there’s a lot you can do as a parent to prevent teen dating violence and abuse.

About 1 in 10 teens who have been on a date have also been physically abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the last year. One of the most important things you can do is keep the lines of communication open with your kids.

Take steps to make a difference:

  • Be a role model – treat your kids and others with respect.
  • Let your kids/teens know how special they are, and that they deserve to be treated with respect.
  • Start talking to your kids about healthy relationships early – before they start dating.
  • Get involved with efforts to prevent dating violence at your teen’s school.
  • If you are worried about your teen, call the National 24/7 Helpline loveisrespect  at 1-866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522.
You can help keep your loved ones safe and healthy.

image (4)

April 8, 2019

April is both Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month.

image (1)

April 1, 2019

day of action_0


November 22, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving from SAFE-NOW

SAFE-NOW wishes all of our supporters a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

WhatsApp Image 2018-11-22 at 5.53.28 PM


November 21, 2018

Save the date - twitter_0

November 5, 2018

Forensic Nurses Week 2018: November 5-9

Fornsic Nurses Week 2018
It’s Forensic Nurses Week!!!
SAFE-NOW extends a huge THANK YOU to our incredible Forensic Nurses, Lori Moynihan, RN and Teresa Watson, RN. We celebrate you!
Your dedication, passion and commitment to serving others are the qualities that make you the heart of this organization.
Our community is blessed to have you both!
Thank You!

October 27, 2018

What Were You Wearing? 

Hosted by SAFE-NOW in partnership with Rogers State University – Claremore, The Gary Moeller Gallery of Arts and Safenet Services.

What Were You Wearing? It’s a question that too many sexual assault victims are often asked. This powerful installation displays replica outfits that represent what sexual assault victims were wearing when they were attacked. All of the stories are TRUE.
This exhibit dispels the myth that clothing plays a role in sexual assault.

This exhibition will run until November 16, 2018.

Where: Rogers State University, Claremore Campus, 1701 W Will Rogers Blvd, Claremore, OK 74017

Link to our Facebook event here: What Were You Wearing @ RSU

Thank you to members of our SAFE-NOW Board for attending the opening of our “What Were You Wearing?” exhibit in partnership with Rogers State University – Claremore, The Gary Moeller Gallery of Arts and Safenet Services.

Pictured L-R: Danny Holdman, Shelly Holdman, Lori Moynihan, Teresa Watson

April 6, 2018

SAFE-NOW reminds you that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

National Sexual Violence Resource Center Website


April 6, 2018

What Were You Wearing? 

Hosted by SAFE-NOW in collaboration with Price Tower Art Center
In recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness Month

What Were You Wearing? It’s a question that too many sexual assault victims are often asked. This powerful installation displays replica outfits that represent what sexual assault victims were wearing when they were attacked. All of the stories are TRUE.
This exhibit dispels the myth that clothing plays a role in sexual assault.

Where: Price Tower Art Center, 2nd floor
510 Dewey Ave, Bartlesville, OK 74003

When: April 7 2018 @ 10:00am- April 29 2018 @ 5:00pm

pricetower.orgSAFE-NOW What Were You Wearing-Title Art


November 8, 2017

“Bad Conduct” – After Being Prosecuted for Domestic Violence and Child Abuse

By Casey Gwinn, Esq.  President, Alliance for HOPE International

Devon Patrick Kelley was discharged from the Air Force in 2014 for “bad conduct” after being prosecuted for domestic violence and child abuse. But Kelley was not the only one guilty of bad conduct. The Air Force gave him a break, letting him avoid a more serious charge that could have put him in prison for much longer and would have given him a dishonorable discharge. He only spent a year in jail for a rage-filled assault on his step-son and wife. And it was not the first time he had assaulted or threatened a woman, child, or animal. In fact, he even threatened to kill his military superiors and ended up escaping from a mental health facility.

Under the federal felony statute in the Violence Against Women Act, he could have gotten ten years in prison for a first offense. But not in the Air Force. A year in jail – typical for a misdemeanor offense in many states – was his only sentence. This caused him only to lose one rank and face a bad conduct discharge. After his conviction, the Air Force violated federal law by not notifying the FBI of his conviction – giving him another break. There may be many more cases where the Air Force failed to comply with federal law, letting would-be killers buy assault rifles and handguns. A federal investigation will now have to determine the extent of the Air Force’s actions in other such cases as well. Bad conduct by many who had a chance to do something to stop him.

But there are two other “bad conduct” stories that need to be written with questions that need to be asked.

Storyline #1

What and who produced Devon Patrick Kelley? What happened to him in childhood? What did not happen to address the early warning signs in his life as a child, teenager, and young adult? Who let his rage grow without effective intervention? In America, we raise our criminals, including our mass shooters, at home. Most likely Kelley’s rage began in his home growing up or soon thereafter. Not all mass shooters grow up in abusive homes but the question should be getting asked. Children of trauma grow up to repeat the generational cycle of violence and the “splash zone” of their rage produces mass murder.

Most mass shooters, radicalized American terrorists, and cop killers are childhood trauma survivors where there has been no mitigation or intervention. What happened in the family? What happened in his earliest relationships? Why does the military not screen for the rage that comes from childhood trauma? Why was there not more aggressive intervention when he was violent with woman after woman? He was investigated for rape (2013) and domestic violence (2014) in New Braunfels and law enforcement and prosecutors did nothing. In the domestic violence case, deputies told the dispatcher after responding to one of the domestic violence calls that it was “misunderstanding and teenage drama.” Bad conduct by many who had a chance to do something to stop him.

Storyline #2

What was the most important warning sign in Kelley’s conduct that was ignored by everyone? The second storyline, completely missed, is this: Kelley was a strangler. Most mass shooters, radicalized American terrorists, and cop killers are not only childhood trauma survivors – they are also domestic violence offenders and stranglers. Devon Patrick Kelley was a strangler. In the Air Force court martial documents, they only refer to it as “choking.” He “choked” his wife. Choking is when food gets caught in your throat. When Kelley placed his hands around his wife’s neck, he was committing the felony crime of strangulation. Strangulation is external pressure to the neck that blocks air or blood flow even for seconds. When Kelley put his hands around a woman’s neck, he was telling people he was a killer and no one paid attention. Once a woman is strangled, she is 750% more likely to later be killed by that man. No one treated his strangulation as seriously as it deserved to be treated.

It is likely he was never offered even offered ways to address his trauma issues before the Air Force taught him to use assault weapons and apply pressure to the neck of his opponents in hand to hand combat. Bad conduct by many who had a chance to do something to stop him.

Alliance for HOPE International and others have documented that strangulation in an intimate relationship proceeds most mass shootings and cop killings in this country. Strangled women are the “canary in the coal mine” of mass shooters. Next time you hear “he choked me”, pay attention to her abusive partner. You are in the presence of a would-be killer. The rage of a man that would strangle a woman is the same rage of a man that would open fire on 50 people gathered to worship God on a Sunday morning in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

As I write today, we are training 90 FBI agents, federal and tribal prosecutors, and tribal law enforcement in Columbia, South Carolina at the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Advocacy Center. Our program is called the Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention. Our focus is on the aggressive handling of near-fatal and non-fatal strangulation cases in domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault cases. Men who strangle women are the most dangerous men on the planet. Our failure to hold stranglers accountable for their actions is often life-ending bad conduct by those of us who have an opportunity to stop them.

November 8, 2017

Article: Why Does She Stay?

SAFE-NOW Board Secretary and Victim Advocate Shelly Holdman wrote on why women stay in an abusive relationship.

Click on the link or read the full article below:


“Many of us have asked the question. We hear of a woman, a friend, a family member or a co-worker who is the victim of domestic violence at the hands of her husband or boyfriend and we ask the most logical questions: Why does she stay with him? Why doesn’t she does leave him?

To those of us on the outside, it seems like a perfectly simple solution to the problem. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. In order to understand why this is complex, we need to first understand the psychology behind the abuse.

Men who abuse women do not start hitting, shouting or belittling their partners on the first date. If they did, then there wouldn’t be a second date. Abusers are usually very charming early in the relationship. They are attentive and caring. Slowly over time, signs of his obsession with power and control start appearing. He will dictate what she wears, where she goes and who she interacts with. This is done sometimes in a subtle way and under the pretense of love and concern for her safety. She continues to fall more deeply in love with him, and at the same time she withdraws from family and friends in order to keep him happy. Some abusers do not start abusing their partners until after marriage.

When he hits her the first time during an argument, she is shocked that the love of her life has done this. She is ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone, so she keeps quiet. Besides, he promises that he will NEVER do it again. He says it was because he got so angry and because he loves her so much. But then over time, it happens again and again.

She stays because maybe she is a stay-at-home mom and he is the sole income earner, in their single income family. She has no money of her own because he controls it all.She stays because she has no family to lean on. He has slowly isolated her from her family and friends through coercive control.

She stays because he is the father of her kids and he has told her that if she were to ever leave him that he would get full custody of the kids.

She takes the abuse because she tells herself that it’s better if he hurts her and not the kids.

She stays perhaps because she believes that divorce is wrong and she was raised to believe that you should stay in a marriage no matter what.

She stays for religious reasons.

She stays because he is a pillar of the community and no one will believe her anyway.”


November 5, 2017

Forensic Nurses Week: November 6-10, 2017

SAFE-NOW Forensic Nurses week 2017 image

This is Forensic Nurses Week! SAFE-NOW would like to thank our incredibly selfless and committed forensic nurses:

Lori Moynihan, RN, CFN, SANE-A, SANE-P (Executive Director)
Teresa Watson, RN (Vice President)
Tina Billbe, RN, FNE

You are the core of our organization. Thank you for all your years of compassion and dedication to the community!


November 5, 2017

AKC Urges Congress to Support Domestic Violence Victims and their Pets

The following article was shared on the American Kennel Club’s website. Thank you to the American Kennel Club for shining a light on this issue.

“The AKC has long been a leader in recognizing the importance of protecting the safety of both victims of domestic violence and their pets. This is why the American Kennel Club is working with members of Congress to advance The Pet and Women Safety Act of 2017 (the 2017 “PAWS” act- H.R. 909/S. 322) that would protect both domestic violence victims and their pets.

These bills would amend current federal domestic violence protections to include pets in protection orders for human victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, and dating violence.

Numerous studies and feedback from law enforcement officers indicate that a significant percentage of domestic violence situations also involve threats of, and outright abuse of pets. Studies have shown that up to 48 percent of battered women delay their decision to leave their situation or they return out of fear for the welfare of their pets. Up to 85 percent of victims have reported that their partner has also threatened, injured, or killed their family pet.

Despite the frequent occurrence of pets being used as pawns in abusive relationships, few domestic violence shelters have programs to accommodate domestic violence victims who wish to seek shelter for themselves and their pets.

Under the proposed PAWS Act pending in Congress, a person who commits an interstate violation of a protection order would be subject to fines or imprisonment and restitution for veterinary care if a victim’s pet harmed as the result of an offense. The proposal would also create an Emergency and Transitional Pet Shelter and Housing Assistance Grant Program to award grants for programs that provide assistance to victims of crimes related to stalking and domestic violence, and establishes that states should encourage the inclusion of protections against violent or threatening acts against the pet of the person in domestic violence protection orders. It also incentivizes states to expand their legal protections for the pets of domestic violence victims.

AKC Government Relations thanks sponsors Senator Gary Peters of Michigan, Congresswoman Katherine Clark of Massachusetts, and the over 250 co-sponsors in the House and Senate expressing support for this essential measure that will make a significant difference in the lives of domestic violence victims and their pets.

AKC has long been a leader on this issue. In 2010, AKC established the AKC Women’s Shelter Grant Program, which provides grants from the AKC Humane Fund to domestic violence shelters and related organizations to assist them in setting up programs to accept victims and their pets. To date, the AKC Humane Fund has distributed nearly 150 grants to assist domestic violence organizations that accommodate victims and their pets, including nearly 50 grants to date in 2017.

The AKC is also pleased to advocate and work with shelters to raise awareness about the connection between victims and their pets, and ways that shelters can accommodate victims’ pets.

To learn more about the AKC Humane Fund program, visit

October 30, 2017

SAFE-NOW Presentation with Bartlesville Chapter of the DAR

On October 4, 2017, SAFE-NOW was invited to speak at the monthly meeting of the Bartlesville Chapter of The National Society, Daughters of the American Revolution. Speakers were SAFE-NOW Board Member Sherrill Yates, Board Secretary/Victim Advocate Shelly Holdman and Executive Director Lori Moynihan. Their presentation was very well received.
SAFE-NOW would like to thank the Bartlesville Chapter of the DAR for their hospitality.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


October 30, 2017

Leslie Morgan Steiner’s TED Talk on Domestic Violence

This powerful TED talk by Leslie Morgan Steiner illustrates how domestic violence can happen with anyone, and tackles the question: “Why doesn’t she leave?”. Steiner also talks about how domestic abuse stems from a cycle of generational abuse and trauma.


October 24, 2017

Choking and Strangulation Are Not The Same

DC Forensics Nurse Examiners shared this article on Facebook, featuring SAFE-NOW’s own board members. In the article they illustrate how choking and strangulation are two different things.


October 9, 2017

SAFE-NOW Article Featured in Examiner Enterprise

This article features SAFE-NOW and highlights what we do as an organization:


October 9, 2017

Campus Exhibition Breaking Stereotypes

This campus exhibition takes aim at the age-old sexual violence myth that clothes determine who gets sexually assaulted. Read the article below: